Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Left and Right Side of the Brain


Life hasn’t set the best of example for a lot of people. A lot of them are content with what they have been given. Maybe, they’re happy with what they have been given. But there are those, who never get what they want. Or at least, they are not happy with what they have. So we either question, life, what we deserve, what we’ve got and why we cannot have our way with things we want. Not necessarily in that order though!

A certain kind of people cannot express what they are feeling and choose to stay quiet. Usually, these kinds of people belong to the male gender. Not a rule, and there are a few odd balls here and there, but majorly. The odd balls are those who find themselves in an creative/arts field, like photography, writing, self confessed author/poets etc: it because they can express well. But majorly, non-creatively inclined, techie/IT guys, bankers, government servants, PhDs, medical: these are some of the profession you will find these inexpressive, solitary men.

The former type live their life a little more easily because, they live at their own, slow and smooth pace. There is nothing to hurry-worry about. They are also quite content with their lives, maybe not the money part. Their attitude is more of like ‘zaalim zindagi’ where they blame life for a lot of things. Anything that doesn’t work for them is happening because of life itself. Let’s call them, ‘Zalim Zindagi ke Besahara Rahi’ (ZZKBR).

Their life typically starts with being fond of books while in school/college, and the art-y type who like Literature and History, and therefore go on o picking up these subjects for their bachelor’s degree. Well, most of them, but there are digressions everywhere, right? College usually sees them as the editor of their magazines, theatre, a lot of melodramatic plays, always involved in the creative teams during college festival. Basically anything that requires a highly creative bent of mind. So, you will usually find them in PA, LA & FA departments (Performing Arts, Literary Arts, & Fine Arts), broadly though. Following the professor’s guidance & peer advice, they head straight for either a Master’s program in some Mascom college in the country or abroad or find themselves a copywriter’s job at some Ad agency, for, you know, some work experience, more like testing waters, if they fit in their chosen field of interest. Depending on how well they do in this profession for about a year or so, they will ultimately decide whether this is their ‘calling’ or should they adopt some ‘exit strategy’, as we call it in our MBA world.

If it turns out that it is their ‘calling’,they switch companies, and every time, it’s a bigger one, and then starts the habits of chain smoker and a weekday-late night-drunkard-syndrome, if they’ve avoided this exposure during college already. Those who adopted the ‘exit strategy’ now head straight for an MBA because they really don’t know what to do with their lives. And of course, you are too old now to be lazing around in the house getting regular constant pocket money from your parents. Some kind of Ego kicks in now. So you are too ashamed to ask for a little money because you have already come of age and hearing how useless you are is the last thing that you want while at home. Honestly, I don’t blame these guys. It’s the Indian society and the mentality that creeps in. Somehow, fathers (if they are the sole earning members of the house), will be the ones to throw such statements and such mentality at you. Even they can’t be blamed. It’s been happening for centuries. The trend hasn’t changed much except, now even girls seem to be hearing the same rant again and again these days. Whom do you blame?

Anyway, coming back to the latter type, the serious one’s who think they know where they are heading in their lives. They are the one who lack the power to express themselves. They’ve either seen a lack of funds at home since childhood or they’ve understood that most of the things that make you happy are bought f money. There are also those ones who understand and take up responsibility early on. Respect for them. But responsibility doesn’t mean you lose the child in you. The moment you lose that little child, you forget how to feel things, or rather, how things feel so different. These people go on and become the big guys with big bank balances but have a dearth of emotions. Hate to express/explain themselves to anyone and if someone else is talking to them, the only part that penetrates their brains is when you were talking about investments, business, work. Rest everything else, forms a part of selective listening that does enter one ear but also manages to exit the other one without even registering in the brain. It’s like an auto-tune process, which does not require a conscious decision making mode. Somewhat similar to the accident-reaction example we’ve heard a zillion times. These people belong to the profession of doctors, engineers, bankers, any technical field guy who are not creatively inclined.

For these people, words like practical, realistic, honestly, logic etc matter a lot. These people don’t blame ‘zindagi’. They are the opportunists who are in a race to take advantage of any opportunity that comes their way. And if the opportunity doesn’t come to them, they create one for themselves. They’re highly egoistic, self-centred, self-importance, crisp sense of style, always the better dressed of the lot. Unlike our art-y ones who choose a shabby style, and an ‘i don’t care’ attitude which reflects from their clothes and habits. They are happily sad in their existence, with their pessimist selves, and love to drown themselves in the world of doom and gloom. And they write amazing poetry that will flatter anybody! After all, great stories are so great because they end in tragedies. It’s a human emotion that they love targeting through their words of wisdom, but if they can’t, simply, copy-paste it! Either way, you would never know which part is copy-pasted!

Our dear striped friends are the ones who firmly believe in ‘Forecasting-planning-organizing-implementing’ and almost always, in that strict order. More often than not, they succeed but every time, this process falters, it unnerves them tremendously. ‘It has to be this way only’ is their constant enemy. I’d like to call them ‘Striped Zindagi ke Naukar’ (SZKN).

Despite me saying/writing all this, I have to mention ‘No offence to anyone’ and also, ‘Please don’t take it personally.’The most intellectual part is that nowadays, women too have joined these bandwagons. And let me tell you, I am not even going there! Will save that for some other mood-swing day when I feel like self-pity!
So coming back to the male fraternity! Irrespective of the kind of person you are, the child has to be kept alive. Fortunately, women still have certain quotient of emotionality in them. Hormones! We are quick to revert and tell you, ‘it’s the hormones’. Unfortunately men can’t or at least they choose not to! But both genders play the blame game almost equally, trying to take advantage of the situation. Just like children, male or female.

Children have certain energies in them that make them so desirable and adorable. They almost immediately understand how you are feeling. If you are angry, they know, if you are happy, they can feel it, and if you are crying, they know you are sad about something. They almost instinctively, either hold your hand or straightaway give you a hug and tell you ‘What happened? Dont cry! It’s going to be fine!’ Their senses are very strong and no one around them can escape it!

They need certain things which come very naturally and almost immediately to them when they are born, like attention, love, affection, understanding for their language, explaining how they feel, appreciation for whatever they’ve done. And there are certain things that they are taught, like respect, habits (brushing, walking, writing, reading) admiration, honesty, promises, obedience, punctuality, values etc.

But somehow, on that journey that all of us embark on, the innocence, the honesty, the humility, the excitement, that rush of blood; suddenly we lose that child on the way to growing up and become some random stubborn, self-centric, egoistic, nerdy inhuman who doesn’t want to feel someone else’s miseries, doesn’t want to experience new and dangerous things. We weren’t born this way. We made our lives turn into some unforgiving bitch who takes any negativity as an offence rather than trying to understand how or why we’ve turned into some unscrupulous morons that we have no respect and feelings for others. Rather than taking someone’s emotions a little more personally, we shake it off! And rather than being that child who was never afraid to make mistakes, we have now turned ourselves into some meticulously manipulative rhinos that have developed too thick a skin to be bothered!

Ever occurred to you why you cannot even wonder at things anymore. Let me say it, once and for all. You killed that child who wanted to live! The term is Foeticide! Believe it or not!
You can go back and instigate some part of your brain: left or right and blame it on the emotional side or the logical one for what you have turned yourself into. Isn’t that exactly what we are best at: blaming something or someone else for all our actions? Thankfully, the heart doesn’t get divided like the brain: left and right hemispheres! The logical side and the emotional side. Thank God for that! Else, even Zen Buddhism couldn't have saved us!