I normally am a happy-go-lucky character. So, nothing can turn my mood so bad that I stay miserable for days... Yet, there are times, when all I do is snap...snap...& snap......
Sometimes its miserable, sometimes its depressing......most of the times, its Anger! On whom? Or why? For what? Nothing seems to find the answer. Tears are the only things that come naturally......
So the task.......Do you want to continue your stay there, in that world of your's where all is tears....or Do you plan to get out?
Some want to just stay in there and continue being the way it, and of course continue with the tears....while Most of the lot will find the other way.....to get out....to be all positive minded and to get back in action....determined not to let themselves give in.............. Highly Motivated, I should say....... they came back..... Ultra-Positive..........
Bull-Shit!!!
Unfortunately, I belong to the former! Someone who continues in the same way for as long as it pleases me.
So nothing really goes your way.......that world where nothing fits into the picture......nothing goes as per planned...... Nobody fits in either who can talk you through........ But, mind you, there are zillions of those who can give you ADVICE, rather than shutting up and LISTENING! Its those times when you wonder, "Didn't they teach you how to listen to others in school?" or "You should attend the 'art of listening' classes. "
I definitely don't belong to the latter. That I am very sure of!
What lures me more is the former.......crying & Snapping!
Nothing is IDEAL in my world! Its all Realistic! And more so, PRACTICAL! Thats how I am. And I know many others are the same except they pretend to be the latter. But its not like I want to stay there....Deep down even I try to come out of things....but there are things you just get STUCK-UP to. There are things we debate if they really went wrong or others manipulated it so much so that it had to go wrong, against our wishes. I don't know. I somehow am more practical, because I still wonder if I went wrong. I was perhaps never wrong .....My only problem is that I end up blaming myself! Thats exactly the difference between the former and the latter ones here.........
Since the 'Positive' ones end up blaming others, its easier for them to come out of situations etc. They appear to be all positive etc etc..... but they're actually, in a worse state than us. they filled with more wrath, more anger, more vengeance! They are like a skin disease! The Ointment that the skin specialists give you only hides the top layers rather than healing from the core of the problem....which lies hidden underneath!!
And then there are these layers, that form, on top of the other, hiding everything that lies beneath. Continuous hiding becomes a habit. So layers accumulate. And as they say, very wisely, if you keep repeating the lies, sooner or later, they start to seem the Truth!! So combining all these facts, fiction & philosophy together, I come to the conclusion, that I am still better off...................
...............except that I am still as cynical.....still as stubborn.......still as difficult as I used to be.
Nothings changed......except the same old me..............Through thick and thin.......
I always find myself with just me at the end of days like these..........
Wonder Why......!!! Wish I didn't feel that way........ as someone very dearly tells me in a soothing voice....... "you shouldn't feel that way, na!"
It just doesn't work that way!!! Its very different for me...... the way I work!!!
